


What Happened?

by living_is_overrated



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Dark Merlin (Kingsman), Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Rape/Non-con Elements, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Some Plot, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-15 06:23:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/living_is_overrated/pseuds/living_is_overrated
Summary: A fic in which Eggsy's mission goes wrong and Merlin isn't there to pick up the pieces.Lots of angst, some violence and non-con. I'm not good at summaries sorry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the stuff my mind comes up with and I needed a place to vent the dark thoughts. 
> 
> Please heed the tags, this is very angsty and dark especially for the first few chapters. 
> 
> Unbeta-ed and first time writing a fix I don't know what I'm doing lmao 
> 
> If you are reading, thank you and please leave comments/kudos! I will try and update as soon as possible, maybe every week? X

Eggsy’s breath came out hard and fast. The world was spinning and his eyes were fighting to catch up, to steady himself, to ground himself. Merlin was talking in his ear, but he wasn’t listening, he couldn’t focus, he needed to focus. 

Where had it gone wrong? One minute he had the situation under control. The next minute? It had all gone to shit. He was being ambushed. Pain was erupting across his body without a source. A bag was being placed over his face and his breathing was being restricted. He couldn’t see and he had panicked, bracing himself quickly before pulling out a device that had the same effect as a stun gun. 

It had been effective. But effective on everyone, including himself. His ears were still ringing, and the men were still rolling around on the floor, stumbling to get up. He used one last push of adrenaline to force himself up before the others, making his way to the door, shooting people along the way.

That’s how he ended up here, struggling for breath and out of control. 

“Eggsy-“ Merlins stern voice grounded him. He never used his real name on a mission, only when the lad was in deep shit. The name worked though, bringing him out of his stun induced haze, forcing him to focus on the low voice in his ear. 

“Now that you’re back with us, you need to start running. The helicopter is waiting for you 200 yards south of your current location. We had to change landing sites after you…never mind we’ll talk about that later. There are 4 armed men heading towards the door you just came from, they’ll be on you in about 20 seconds. Move Galahad.” 

Eggsy processed the steady stream of information from the mans voice and jumped into action, running as fast as he could towards where he guessed was south, he didn’t have a time to check. Who the fuck cares? He’s dead anyway if he doesn’t run quick enough. 

As the landing pad appears in close view, he hears shots and instinctively ducks, legs still moving. He thinks the shots are coming from behind him, but they could be a counterattack from the Kingsmen in the helicopter. He’s so close, he just needs to- 

He goes down, down to the floor, hard. He’s been shot, the back of his knee exploding with pain. He’s not bleeding, the suit giving him enough protective to stop penetration, but he can’t stand on the leg. He faces it.

He’s fucked. 

And the only thing he can feel is disappointment at himself, at letting Merlin down, at not listening to the direct instructions he was given to evacuate. He just wanted a bit more information…

He was convinced that if he stayed with the mark he would get more information. If he didn’t protest when the mark took him to the bedroom of the secluded house and laid down in the bed with him, he’d impress Merlin with his ability to bullshit himself into more information. But he didn’t notice the moment when the mark realised what was happening and had called in his men to ambush Eggsy, didn’t hear the squeal of tires on the driveway as the mark had kissed down his neck.

Now he was going to die, and for what? What would Merlin remember of him? Having to watch Eggsy lay and kiss this man, rub his hands up his sides, touch Eggsy’s chest, despite Merlin explicitly telling him to stop. To leave.

These thoughts all flooded Eggsy’s head as he realised he’d given up, before strong arms were being wrapped around him. This was it. They were going to take him.

Merlin’s voice sounded distant, the gunshots sounding a lifetime away. 

He was lifted up, and carried bridal style towards the helicopter. As he was shoved inside, he gave a small noise of surprise. He wasn’t being taken? 

He managed to focus on the face, it was Harry. Harry had come to grab him, and was now closing the door and keeping one hand on him, the other on his gun, as the helicopter lurched up into the air. 

He was okay. 

Harry had saved him. 

He’d live.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Father figure Harry and Roxy swoop in to comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it turns out I have no self restraint and have decided to post the next chapter not even 12 hours after the first

“Fuck, mate, could you be a bit gentler please? That shit hurts-“ Eggsy whines, swearing as the medical officer presses harder on the bruise just in spite of him. He whines louder, until Harry walks in the door and he cuts himself off short. 

“Did he say anything to you?” Eggsy asks quietly, lowering his gaze in submission. 

“He’s not very happy. At all,” was Harry’s gentle reply. He’s stood against the doorway, watching Eggsy’s face intently. 

Merlin always came to check on Eggsy as soon as he arrived back from a mission. Always. 

But not today. 

It caused Eggsy’s heart to physically lurch, pain shooting across his body again. The only injuries he’d sustained from the mission was the minor muscle damage to the back of his leg, other than that he was fine. But inside, his whole body hurt at the thought of Merlin being angry at him.

Harry noticed the distress and swiftly took steps closer to him to sit by his side. “Shh, it’s okay. You’ll be okay Eggsy. You’re here and you’re alive, that’s all that matters.”  
Eggsy managed a weak smile, “Yeah, I have you to thank for that. I was a gonna,” he says quietly, taking a shuddering breath. 

“We’ve all experienced botched missions Eggsy, it happens, you’ve just got to learn from your mistakes…” Harry gently pushes some hair from Eggsy’s face, taking hold of his hand and stroking his thumb over the back of it. The movement soothes him. They stay like that for a while. Harry always has the ability to soothe him, and he loves the man so much. He’s the dad Eggsy never had. 

“On a brighter note, someone has been waiting to see you…” Harry says with a small smile, steps out, and comes back a moment later with JB wriggling around in his arms. “Now if you’ll forgive me, I have to go clean up a few things. That’s the problem with being the boss I’m afraid. I’d love to keep you company for longer, dear, just call if you need me. I hope things with Merlin aren’t too…tough…” He gives a sympathetic nod and kisses his forehead before walking away. 

Eggsy cuddles JB until Roxy tumbles in, post-mission high causing her to pace around Eggsy, checking he was okay, asking him everything that had happened, and asking about the news from the medics telling him he’d have to take at least 2 weeks off from field duty. They don’t speak about Merlin, but he can tell Roxy knows where the situation currently lies with him, the concern ebbing quietly beneath the surface. 

He doesn’t leave until medical tell him they need the bed for another injured agent, and that he is okay to leave. He’ll just need a few weeks to get back to strength. The force of the bullet had hit him just at the right angle to cause him to collapse, but no permanent harm was done.

It hurts to walk, but he can walk all the same. He refuses the crutches they offer him, and resignedly gets a Kingsman cab home, JB in his arms, dread filling the pit of his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst to follow in the next few chapters, you have been warned...
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos and comments make me happy ❤️


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin deals with the situation badly. Very badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: domestic violence. Dark Merlin. 
> 
> I'm sorry in advance, guys, my brain hates everything at the moment and has decided to make everything dark...

Roxy had called him 3 times on his journey home. Don’t get him wrong, he loved the girl and her concern made his head feel fuzzy with comfort, but he just wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone in the anxious state he was in.

Every word that was said to him grated on his nerves. He felt like shouting “Shut up! You’re not Merlin, so don’t speak to me!” but knew that would be insufferably rude of him. After all, she clearly cared more than Merlin did as she was actively calling him, and the former had yet to say a word to him. He didn’t even know where Merlin was.

“Honestly, Roxy, I’m okay. Please, rest, you must be shattered, bruv. I know you’re only staying awake to talk to me and check I’m alright and shit. I’m alright. I’ll talk to you tomorrow and update ya’ on how it goes with Merlin, ‘kay?” he says softly, doesn’t wait for a reply, and hangs up, turning his phone off.

He sighs shakily as the cab pulls up next to his house. Next to Merlins house. By this point it’s at least 2am. Most of the lights are out. Maybe he is still at Kingsman, cleaning up Eggsy’s mess? Maybe that’s why he’d been too busy to check on him? 

He realises he’s hesitating and the cabby is politely waiting for him to get out. “Oh sorry- Thanks, bruv…” He gives the guy a tip, despite being a Kingsman driver, and jumps out before he can protest, shutting the door and waving as he limps to the door. 

He takes a deep breath while stumbling with the lock before stepping inside. The house is deathly quiet, the faint ticking of a clock from one of the rooms is the only noise breaking up the silence. 

The house feels cold, despite the warm cosy décor Merlin had chosen years ago when Kingsman had given him the place. It makes Eggsy shiver ever so slightly. He quickly stops himself. “It’s probably just coz I’m dropping from the mission,” he mumbles to himself under his breath, putting JB down and letting him scarper off upstairs to where Eggsy usually sleeps, warming the bed up with his little body in preparation for his master.

Taking his coat off, he hangs it up sloppily, not bothering to undo his shoes. Once he’s in the living room, it takes him a good minute before he realises someone is in there with him, which is more than slightly worrying, being a spy and all. He smells the alcohol before he sees him, the scent hitting him like a fog.

“Merlin?” he says quietly, spinning around to see the older gentleman sitting in his armchair, nursing a large glass of what he guesses is whisky. 

The man hardly ever drinks. Perhaps a drink or two after a hard day, like V-Day, but Eggsy has never seen him this intoxicated, and he’s ashamed of the small flashback of Dean he has. Dean sitting in a chair like that, watching his every move, waiting to pounce. 

Merlin doesn’t reply, expression vacant and cold. 

“Merlin, I’m sorry, okay, mate? I didn’t-“ 

“What the fuck was that today, Eggsy?” the low rumble of the Scots harsh voice makes him jump slightly as he’s cut off. The man stands up alarmingly quickly, taking a step closer to Eggsy with the glass held loosely in his left hand, hanging by his side. He’s swaying slightly, breath becoming increasingly harder. “Why didn’t you leave when I told you to? I didn’t just fucking tell you that because I thought it would be fun to say, I told you to leave for a reason.”

He takes a step closer and Eggsy subconsciously takes another step back, his back flush against the wall. Blood fills his ears with the thumping sound of his heart, the smell of alcohol from Merlins breath fills his nose. 

“Look, Merlin, maybe we should have this conversation when you’re sober, this ain’t the time, you ain’t in the right mindset, you’re upset with me and I get it-“ Eggsy rambles but is cut off again by a deceptively calm voice. 

If it’s even possible, Merlins voice becomes even deeper, his accent harsher. “Upset?!” He scoffs without humour, spitting the next words out. “You disobeyed direct orders, what, so you could fuck him?” The words hurt Eggsy more than he thought, filling the boy with self hatred at the fact he’s caused Merlin to think this way. The man towers over him, chest heaving, at least a foot of height on the boy.

Instead of curling in on himself though or apologising like he knows he should, he turns defensive. Voice matching Merlin’s tone, but coming out louder than his, he grunts, heat filling his body slowly with anger. “You think that was what it was? That I just wanted to fuck him? What the fuck Merlin? Is that how fucking low you think of me?” he barks out a laugh, words pouring out of him without thinking them through first. “You know what, I did want to fuck him. That’s why I risked my fucking life, not because I wanted to please you, or get information for you. Nah, bruv, I wanted his fat prick in my arse. That’s all I could think about. And you know when it all went down shits creek and I didn’t get to fuck him? You were no bloody help. Harry saved me. Not you, cos Harry is a real fucking man, he actually goes on missions instead of sitting behind a fucking desk and pretending to be an agent-“ 

Eggsy hears the sound before he feels the sting. The sound of the hard skin of Merlins hand hitting the soft skin of Eggsy’s face. Then he hears the silence after. The painful silence that seems to last forever but probably only lasts a few seconds as Merlin stares at his hand in shock, then Eggsy’s face, where his lip has split on his tooth and is starting to bleed. Eggsy can hear his own heartbeat, beating fast. His mind instantly flashes to Dean and he ashamedly lets out a quiet noise of distress at the thought.

“Oh god… Eggsy, I’m-“ he’s about to apologise. His voice is no longer harsh, now worried and shaking. He lifts a hand to Eggsy’s face, wanting to smooth it better again but Eggsy misinterprets it, flinching on instinct and moving away. Merlins glass has been long forgotten, it had fallen from his hand and is now spilt across the cream carpet. 

Merlin is talking to him, but he can’t understand the words. His head is filled with his own voice, telling him “get away, move, leave, now”. He goes into the hallway, and as he’s pulling on his coat he feels Merlin desperately grab his arm. He flinches again and vaguely sees the pain cross Merlins face, as though he’s the one that’s been hit. 

“No, Merlin. Fuck you. I’m going out. Before this becomes even more out of hand.” Eggsy’s voice is low and incredibly quiet, he tries his best to sound like he’s not phased, but the wobble in his voice and shake in his hands give him away. He opens the door and shuts it in Merlins face without another word, blood still slipping down his lip, which he subconsciously wipes away with the back of his hand, ignoring the pain as he walks through the dark streets of London to the nearest bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :( the next chapter shall be pretty dark too. He tries to make it all better again in the next few chapters, I promise... 
> 
> I'll probably update pretty soon because I seem to have no self control! :) 3 chapters in 24 hours you're welcome lads 
> 
> I'm a slut for criticism and kudos! Any advice will be much appreciated, thanks for reading ❤️


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy makes some mistakes because he's sad, and Harry is there to pick up the pieces, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: non-con! alcohol and drug use 
> 
> If you hadn't guessed already, I have no self control so I'm throwing this chapter out there too. Procrastination at its finest, fuck A-levels, who needs them when there's fanfiction?
> 
> Sorry guys...

“Hey there, handsome.. What’s a pretty boy like you doing alone in a bar like this?” 

Usually men like this repulse Eggsy and he would ignore them. However, in his vulnerable emotional state? Of course he leans into the touch of the man’s hand on his waist. He picks up the drink that’s been handed to him, downing it in one. 

It’s not that he doesn’t realise the consequences of his risky behaviour, it’s that he doesn’t care. Instead of deterring the man, he leads him on, taking a deep breath before turning to face him, looking up at him under dark lashes. “Waiting for men like you,” he replies smoothly, his voice slurred slightly from alcohol. The throbbing from his face and leg are a distant memory with the alcohol flowing through his veins. 

The guy glances at Eggsy’s lip, but doesn’t really seem to give it much more care than that. He’s too focused on the way Eggsy’s body tilts closer to his, the way he slides off his stall at the bar to lean between the mans seated legs. The man smirks, it’s a predatory thing, but Eggsy doesn’t care. 

Merlin doesn’t love him. Merlin hit him. 

When he’d left the house he had decided he’s going to show Merlin exactly what it’s like for him to fuck someone else. He wanted to hurt Merlin and teach him a lesson. But he also wanted someone else to mark him. He couldn’t bear the marks Merlin had left on him from tonight, inside and out. The words he’d said to him had hurt so deeply. He needed someone else to mark him. Someone he didn’t care about. A stranger to replace the marks so they didn’t hurt as much. 

Those were the thoughts that circle his head as he presses his hips flush against the mans groin and moans, quietly but directly into the mans ear. His lips brush the shell of his ear, and he tilts his head even more to bare his neck in submission to the man, who’s hot breath was now ghosting over the sensitive skin there.  
“What’s your name?” the man asks as he slips off his barstool as well, hands sliding to Eggsy’s hips to grip hard at them and control the boy’s body.

Eggsy didn’t even lie about his name, giving his real one without a single fuck. He learnt that the mans name was Mark. 

Mark was about as tall as Merlin, maybe taller, and definitely larger. He was just layers of hard muscle, making Eggsy seem small in comparison. 

They make their way through the crowds of people to the corner of the room, it’s dark and nobody pays them much attention. When Mark offers him a pill, he takes it without question. It must have just been a party type drug as it makes his limbs feel light and his head feel fuzzy, but he didn’t lose consciousness, he just feels more malleable as the man presses him against the wall and kisses along his throat. He gasps when he felt teeth on his skin, then sucking which would inevitably bruise tomorrow. 

Hands are soon fumbling at Eggsy’s zipper, but he gently pats them away. “No,” he says softly, shaking his head and kissing the mans lips hard, wincing slightly as the skin that was starting to heal is ripped apart again. He tastes blood but doesn’t care. “Let me blow you,” he says in a low voice as agitation starts to show on the mans face as the roll of their hips isn’t enough friction anymore. He evidently didn’t like being told no. Mark grumbles slightly but doesn’t protest when Eggsy drops to his knees in the corner of the club, his big body shielding him from the rest of the world. 

He unzips his pants, ungracefully pulling the hard member from his jeans and underwear, and pressing the tip to his mouth, moaning at the contact. He nearly slaps himself for the disappointment he feels when he doesn’t taste like Merlin. He sucks anyway, the man above him grunting and smirking down at him, fingers carding through his hair and mumbling obscenities at him.

“You got such a pretty mouth, boy. So fucking warm and wet for me-“ he grunts and his hand tightens in Eggsy’s hair. He’d barely managed to swallow the man down before he was being pulled roughly off again, then shoved down hard. 

Eggsy’s throat was more pliant than when sober however he still gags when the thick length hits the back of it repeatedly. A whimper escapes when the hand tightens in his hair. His eyes close and he tries to breathe. 

This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? He wanted to be used by someone who wasn’t Merlin. Someone who couldn’t be disappointed at him. 

After another minute or so Eggsy starts to panic slightly, needing air. He pushes at the mans hips with his hands, turning his face away, choking down a sob, but the man won’t let go, just smirking more and gripping Eggsy’s hand tighter. 

His chest convulses slightly and Eggsy realises he was going to lose consciousness. For a second he cared, but then he didn’t. Merlin wouldn’t care, would he? Otherwise he’d be here, looking for him. Otherwise he wouldn’t have…

Eggsy’s vision starts to go black, dark spots appearing as his limbs go fully limp. But just as the world starts to spin, the man was suddenly off him, being yanked back roughly. Eggsy collapses, gasping for hair and clutching his throat, massaging it slightly. His lip had bled again but he didn’t feel the pain. He didn’t feel anything. 

He glances up, wondering what had happened, but quickly chokes on the air as he sees the other man being shoved into the crowd, his face looking angry red, quickly trying to pull up his zipper on his still hard and wet cock. 

Eggsy blinks a few times then frowns, angry lines appearing between his brows. “What the fuck, man?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It can only go up from here, I promise! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, feedback is great, I'm sure there'll be mistakes in here that I've missed ❤️


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry deals with the aftermath.

Harry leaned down to his level with a sigh. He was still fully dressed in his three piece Kingsman suit. 

“Eggsy, dear, are you okay?” Harry knows it’s a stupid question as the words leave his mouth. Warm hands encircle Eggsy and he’s lifted to his feet. “Let’s get you home,” he says softly, pulling the boy. He carries him more than Eggsy walks, his legs not wanting to obey him. 

“Why’d you pull ‘im off me?” Eggsy slurs. “Was enjoying myself-“ 

Harry sighs again, “Were you Eggsy? Because it seemed more to me like he was suffocating you. What would you have done once you’d lost consciousness? Allowed him to carry on until you died? He could have taken you home, he could have done anything to you…” Eggsy feels Harry sigh against him as he’s gently manoeuvred into a cab. 

Hot tears begin to slide down Eggsy’s cheek as he takes in the words, and Harry’s disappointed tone. Once they’d started they, wouldn’t stop. “’M sorry, ‘Arry, I just wanted…” he trails off between sobs with a mumble. 

What did he want? To destroy himself? 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Harry whispers softly. He pulls the boy down against his chest. “As long as you’re okay. Are you okay? I’m going to take you to medical. He wasn’t wearing a condom was he? We need to get you checked out.. Did he do anything else to you?” He asks, trying to be as delicate as possible. 

Eggsy shakes his head against the mans chest with a sniffles, too far gone to be embarrassed at the way he’s making Harry’s suit wet with dribble and snot and tears. 

Harry lifts his head up slightly with two gentle fingers under his chin, he uses his other hand to open Eggsy’s eyes wide and squints at him. “What have you taken Eggsy? Did you take any drugs? What were they?” He’s trying his best not to sound pushy but his voice becomes more worried. 

“I dunno, probably MDMA or some shit, he gave me a pill,” Eggsy slurs, shrugging his shoulders clumsily. 

Harry’s fingers then slide to Eggsy’s lip where he visibly pales and shakes his head. “What the fuck has he done to you? He told me he hit you…” he mumbles, quietly to himself as if not to actually let Eggsy hear him. The fingers stroke up to gently touch the bruise beginning to blossom against Eggsy’s cheek and eye. He flinches and Harry quickly stops, shaking his head. 

“How’d you find me, anyway?” Eggsy asks, wanting to draw the attention away from his face. 

“Merlin called me… Told me you’d had an…argument… He told me what he’d done. He sounded so upset. I scouted the area for bars and started looking in the closest ones to your house. Luckily I got to the one you were in in time otherwise this could have ended a lot worse. I may never have found you.” Eggsy shrugs at the last sentence. 

The rest of the journey is silent. 

Medical seems surprised to see Eggsy for a second time that day. They share hushed murmurs with Harry as he obviously explains what had happened. They run tests on him to find out what he’s taken, and whether he’d caught anything from the man. Eggsy thanks his lucky stars when they all come back clear.

His system is flushed clean with an IV and he eventually falls asleep, with Harry at his side the entire time, head propped gently against Eggsy’s hip, and he feels safe as the older man whispers soft reassurances to him until he’s thoroughly asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt Eggsy + guilty Merlin = overprotective Roxy going straight in for the kill....

Eggsy doesn’t see Merlin the next day. He doesn’t want to. He stays in medical until they give him the all clear for a second time. He goes with Harry to his office, showers in his private shower and changes into some of Harry’s clean clothes. When he knows Harry isn’t looking, he breathes in the smell of the fabric. He blushes at the stupidity he feels when he acknowledges the smell as comforting. 

What was happening? He was turning into a soppy bastard, that’s what.

“So, what did you want to do today, dear?” Harry asks without looking up from his computer. The words are gentle but his face is full of worry, he’s frowning at the screen, typing quickly. 

Eggsy sits down on the couch, smiling a bit as he says, “Was kinda hoping to waste the day playing on a Wii, kinda also just want to spend the day with you…” He sighs, chewing on his swollen lip. 

His face has fully bloomed into a dark bruise now on one side. His throat is raw and he struggles to speak. His head thumps and he groans, crushing his eyes with his fists and rubbing them.

“Then that’s what you shall have,” Harry says, looking up with a smile as he radios the tech department, demanding a Will,, the thing arrives and is fitted in Harry’s room within half an hour. Eggsy finds blankets and cuddles up with them, sitting in comfortable silence. Harry works while Eggsy plays, and the sadness and anxiety that has been building up since the failed mission and club fiasco slowly starts to ebb away. 

He naps for an hour at noon. Eventually he manages to convince Harry to have a game with him while the man takes a break from his work. 

They cuddle up on the sofa together, giggling as Harry attempts to learn how to use the controllers. “Aw, guv’, turns out there is something you’re shit at then!” Eggsy barks with laughter as Harry dies and throws the controller down with a disgruntled mumble. 

“It’s a silly game anyway! Why must I drive around a rainbow road dressed as an Italian?” He pouts, sticking his bottom lip out at Eggsy who is in fits of giggles again. It makes the man smile, to see him slowly turning back to his old self. 

“Well, thank you for that experience Eggsy, but I’m really sorry I must get back to work. I’m gutted, truly,” he lies, shooting the game a dirty look as he goes back to his desk. Then it’s Eggsy’s turn to pout back at him. “Maybe another game later,” he says when he can’t handle the boys puppy eyes much longer. Satisfied with the answer Eggsy leaves him alone again.

After a while he gets bored, and realised he forgot to call Roxy. He goes to the bathroom to do it, where he’ll get more privacy. She picks up after the first ring is barely over. 

“Eggsy! How are you? Feeling better? The leg still sore?” her words are motherly and warm and he smiles slightly. Roxy will always look out for him. 

“Yeah I’m okay, mate…” he begins, but being the trained agent that she is, she instantly notices the hesitance in his voice. 

“What aren’t you telling me? You don’t sound okay,” she says matter of factly. 

“I’d rather talk to you in person,” he mumbles and bites his lip. He knows she’ll either be at home or in the Kingsman HQ because she has a mandatory 48 hours off before her next mission, and as much as he loves Harry, the man is a bore when he’s doing work. 

“God, it must be serious then. Where are you? Meet me in the common room?” She asked softly. He knows it’s usually empty there. He nods before remembering he’s on the phone, verbally replying. 

They hang up, and Eggsy stands up, straightening his suit. He shivers slightly at the loss of warmth from the blanket but forces himself not to shake. Before he leaves, he kisses Harry on the head, who doesn’t look up from his work but strokes a hand over Eggsy’s arm once, in acknowledgement.

The entire walk through the mansion he’s nervous he’ll see Merlin. Physically shaking his head at himself, he sighs. It’s a totally irrational thought and he’ll have to address the man at some point in the near future. They live together for fucks sake. They’re in a relationship. 

When he sees Roxy his body relaxes and he grins at the sight of her, only to frown when she gasps and runs over to him, dragging him to sit down. 

“Gary Unwin, I know for a fact that you did not have those bruises on your face in medical yesterday. Was it Dean?” He knows she’s serious because she used his real name.

That seemed to be happening a lot lately. 

He cringes, wanting to crawl into himself. He didn’t know why he felt ashamed but he did, and he wanted to hide from her until everything was back to normal again. 

“No, it wasn’t Dean,” he mumbles. That uncomfortable and increasingly familiar feeling is returning. Like he’s slowly slipping deeper and deeper under water with no one to pull him back up. His heartbeat thuds in his ears and he closes his eyes, trying to calm his nerves. 

“Who was it then?” she asks, intending to be calm but the words coming across as bitten off and sharp instead. 

He doesn’t open his mouth until both her hands are on him, gripping his shoulders and forcing his gaze to hers, and he knows he can’t hold it in any longer. 

“Merlin.” 

For a moment, she doesn’t react. Her face remaining neutral, as though waiting for him to tell her that he’s joking, that it’s not true. When that doesn’t happen, she goes fucking ballistic. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill him, the fucking bastard-“ she’s on her feet, grumbling repeated and increasingly nastier threats as she storms straight down the hallway towards Merlins office. Her hands are shaking into fists at her sides.

“Wait, Roxy, please, let me explain-“ he calls after her desperately, but the petit girl is much faster than him, red hot anger flushing through her system. 

She doesn’t knock, only kicks the door open, and Eggsy admits, at any other moment that would have been pretty badass. Right now he just felt panicked. If she wanted to, she really could kill the man. And currently? She definitely fucking wanted to. 

Merlin jumps up, turning around with confusion on his face. His eyes flicker from Roxy to Eggsy, pain gripping his face when he sees Eggsy’s. He’s a complete wreck. His eyes bloodshot with dark rims beneath them. He looks like he hasn’t washed or slept and Eggsy can still smell the alcohol on him. Remnants of the night before. 

Without any hesitation, Roxy clocks him straight in the face. 

“You. Fucking. Bastard!” she exaggerates each word with a punch, some to his face, some to his chest, and he doesn’t do a thing to stop her, just accepts the beating. 

Eggsy can’t watch and goes to Roxy as soon as he gets over his shock, grabbing her arms and pulling her back. When she starts to fight him, writhing and trying to get back to Merlin, Eggsy wraps his arms tightly around her in a sudden and fierce hug. 

“Enough,” he whispers, holding her tighter when she wriggles in one last ditch effort to become free. 

They just breathe for a few seconds, Merlin staring at Eggsy, Eggsy staring and Roxy, and Roxy closing her eyes and counting to 10. When he guesses she’s reached 10, Eggsy leans in and presses a gentle kiss to the corner of her lips. She visibly relaxes, hugging Eggsy close again. 

Merlin doesn’t know what to do, what to say. His hand is holding his chest where she had given him a particularly hard punch. 

“I wish I hadn’t taught you how to punch like that,” he mumbles quietly beneath his breath, but there’s no malice in his words. Roxy only scowls in reply. 

“Can I speak to Merlin alone for a second, Rox?” Eggsy asks gently. She hesitates, giving Merlin another look that says “You touch him and you die.” 

Eventually she nods. “But I’ll be standing outside this fucking door, so if I hear so much as one wrong move, I’m coming in.” With that, she spins around and slams the door shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again guys for reading and for your comments, the support is wonderful ❤️


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makeups, tears and fluff (kinda)-

Merlin just stares at him, wide eyed and pained. He takes a step back when Eggsy moves forward, and Eggsy almost laughs at the role reversal. 

“I’m sorry about Roxy, she’s not thinking rationally, I didn’t think she would come here and…” Eggsy gestures vaguely towards Merlin with concern on his face, but the older man seems unfazed by what happened.

Merlins eyes are fixated on the bruise on Eggsy’s face, and he seems to be scared that if he even so much as talks he’ll hurt him again. 

“It’s okay Merlin. I’m not mad,” Eggsy says softly. “And I ain’t that hurt… The bruise makes it seem worse than it is… I’m sorry about what I said and did last night… I didn’t mean any of it… I didn’t want you to…” his voice hitches slightly and he can’t finish his sentence, eyes welling slightly. He furiously blinks away the tears, refusing to cry. “I said some terrible shit, bruv. I didn’t mean any of it. And what I did…” he trails off again and looks away, unable to keep eye contact. 

“Eggsy, love…” there’s a beat of silence and Eggsy’s breath hitches, waiting for the man to tell him it’s over, that he didn’t want to speak to him again unless on a mission. He braces himself and sucks in another breath-

“Can I hold you?” Whatever he expected the Scotsman to reply with, it was not that. He looks up and suddenly the tears are falling and he’s nodding his head frantically. Because that’s all he wants. That’s all he’s wanted since the mission went tits up.

“Please,” he whimpers. Merlin pulls him gently to his wide chest, still touching him as though he’ll break the boy. 

Eggsy sobs loudly into Merlins chest, and the older man slowly squeezes him tighter. It’s only after a while that he realises Merlin has been whispering a quiet mantra of “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry lad, you canne forgive me, I don’t deserve forgiveness, fuck, I’m sorry-“ against Eggsy’s soft curls. The boy doesn’t think, just lifts his head and pulls Merlin down into a long, slow kiss. 

“I forgive you, Merlin. Please, I forgive you,” he murmurs against his lips, and Merlin breaks down. 

Eventually they move to the couch, laying together with Eggsy stroking his hair and the other man still murmuring half to himself. He clearly hadn’t slept in about 36 hours at least. 

“I was so fucking worried Eggsy. While you were on that mission. I’ve never seen you lose control like that-“ 

Eggsy hushed him and gave him gentle kisses. He felt completely calm, and clear headed for the first time since before the mission, and he couldn’t handle the pain Merlin was feeling. 

“I know, sweet ‘eart, I know,” he whispered. “I won’t do it again, I swear. And I’ll never go out to a bar without you again either,” he shivered slightly at the memory. What the hell had he been thinking?

“What happened at the bar? Harry wouldn’t tell me, told me to ask you…” he frowns slightly. 

Eggsy worries his lip with his teeth until it starts to bleed again and Merlin gently uses his thumb to release the lip from his teeth, kissing away the blood. Eggsy’s heart rate spikes again, and breathlessly he relays what had happened to Merlin, as if all in one very long sentence. When he’s finished, Merlin took a very long breath, and asks “What was his name?” his tone dangerously low. Eggsy knew that tone and it was not a good sign.

“Mark, I think…” he mumbles. “Didn’t catch a last name.” 

“And you say Harry saw his face?” 

Eggsy nods, and Merlin says no more, only storing the information to memory and holding his boy tighter, caressing his hair gently. Eggsy relishes in the touch, feeling safe and at home again. He closes his eyes and within minutes is drifting into sleep, head resting on Merlins chest and breathing becoming slower. 

He was okay again. 

He was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a psychology exam tomorrow that I'm probably going to fail because I spent most of my time writing this fic instead of revising but oh well, A Levels can suck my ass.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What you've probably been waiting for, smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written smut in over a year so sorry if it's awful lmao oh well

Eggsy can tell that Roxy will never fully forgive Merlin. She did go and apologise to him the next day though for her “momentary lapse in judgement”.

It’s been two weeks and his bruised face has began to go back to normal. His leg was feeling better too. Because he was starting to feel better, he was also feeling more restless. 

Harry wouldn’t let him in his room anymore because he’d decided the boy talked and distracted him too much. When Eggsy was feeling particularly fidgety, he sat and kicked the desk for precisely 17 minutes before Harry lost his patience and told him to go find something better to do. 

He went to the gym. Strictly speaking, medical hadn’t actually cleared him for that… But he went anyway. He needed to let off some pent up steam and emotion. He punched the boxing bag with bare fists until his knuckles began to split. His breathing came out hard and fast. He needed to do better. To be better. So he didn’t fuck it up on the next mission. He needed to be perfect- 

“Aye, lad, calm down…” Eggsy blinks a few times as Merlins strong hands gently grip both his wrists, pulling him away from the boxing bag. “You’ve definitely punched the shit out that thing,” Merlin grimaces at the blood on it and makes a mental note to call someone to clean it up. 

“Let’s go back to my office, aye?” It isn’t so much of a question as Eggsy was already being lead there. 

On arrival, Merlin sits him down, cleaning his hands and wrapping them in bandages. He takes a cold, damp towel and presses it to his forehead, wiping away the sweat and brushing his hair back off his face. Eggsy moans slightly and leans into the touch. Finally, he’s given some water, which he quickly diminishes.

“You gonna tell me what that was about then, kid?” Merlin asks, sitting across from him on his computer chair, arms folded in his lap. 

“I just- I need to go on a mission, I’m going crazy in this fucking place and it’s only been two weeks bruv,” Eggsy grumbles then pouts like a child. 

Merlin rubs a hand over his face, taking off his glasses and closing his eyes for a second.

“Pummelling the shit out of the boxing bag isn’t going to help you,” he mumbles. “You need to rest, gain your strength back so medical will discharge you quicker, not start fights with everything you see,” he bites his lip and watches Eggsy’s face. Eggsy can tell he’s concerned and trying to be nice about it.

Eggsy jumps up with a new rush of energy, pacing quickly in front of Merlin and tugging at his hair in frustration. 

“You don’t get it! I need to do something-“ he begins again, voice slowly raising. 

He’s suddenly being pulled into the Scotsman’s lap with a small “oomf” noise as he lands. 

“Well then…do me,” Merlin grumbles in his ear and Eggsy can practically feel the smirk spreading across his face. He begins to smirk too and giggles slightly at the poor attempt at a pickup line. As cringey as it was, it didn’t sound like such a bad idea. 

“Or you could do me… over the desk,” he mumbles the suggestion with an exaggerated roll of his hips, practically preening at the moan it elicits from the older man. “Then you can still watch your missions and make sure nothing goes tits up, like mine,” he lets out a small laugh and grins at the way Merlins eyes darken at the idea. 

Without much warning he’s shoved forward, face down on the desk with Merlins hips still flush against his arse. The growling noises Merlin makes as he pulls Eggsy’s trousers and underwear down cause the boys cock to thicken immensely, small desperate noises slipping from his mouth. He tries to roll his hips backwards again, to find friction from the other man’s cock, but he’s quickly stopped with two strong grips on his hips, holding him still. 

“No, Eggsy. You wait for me to fuck you,” Merlin demands, pressing kisses to the back of Eggsy’s neck, sucking bruises to the skin where his neck connects his shoulder. 

Eggsy whines like a petulant child at the loss of Merlins mouth against him. He clenches his arse, back curving to push himself up on display for Merlin. His skin is buzzing, he feels like he’s on fire. 

He hears Merlin grunt then 3 fingers are being pressed against his lips. “That’s it, make then nice and wet for me, there’s a good boy. I don’t have any lube,” he mumbles frustratedly. 

Eggsy doesn’t care. He sucks the digits into his mouth like there’s no tomorrow. When Merlin’s long fingers nearly reach the back of his throat, he does flinch slightly, the memory of Mark still at the forefront of his mind. 

Merlin is quick to soothe him, “It’s okay, it’s okay Eggsy, we can stop whenever you need… You’re safe here, I’m never going to hurt you again, and neither is Mark,” he spits out the name with disgust. “You don’t have to worry, lad. I made sure I dealt with him.” 

Eggsy’s face flushes and he begins to suck harder again, thoroughly wetting the digits with his tongue, the thought of Merlin “dealing” with the twat that hurt him sends arousal swirling in the pit of his stomach, his cock becoming even heavier between his legs. 

They’re both fully dressed, apart from the fact Eggsy’s slacks are now around his knees, and it somehow makes the situation impossibly hotter. Merlin’s screens are in front of their faces, and he keeps glancing at them, although everything seems to be okay for the moment.

He snaps his attention back to Eggsy when the boy whines, high pitched and broken, with another small roll of his hips. The sides of his mouth twitch up in amusement and he takes his fingers from his mouth. “Alright lad, okay-“ 

Two fingers are being pushed against his rim and his breath hitches at the burn as they enter him. 

“Fuck- Fucking hell-“ Eggsy groans as the fingers remain seated inside his arse, but slowly curl in a beckoning motion as Merlin searches for his prostate. He lurches forward when he finds it, keening at the pleasure it sends through his body. The fingers begin to thrust, and soon Eggsy is a whimpering mess with all 3 digits inside him. 

“Please, please Merlin- I need your cock in me,” he moans in the sweetest voice he can, the voice Merlin can never say no to.

He older man chuckles and withdraws his fingers when he knows the boy is open enough. His hole is left clenching around nothing, and he groans at the loss. 

He nearly cries when he finally gets what he wants, thick head of Merlins cock trying to breach his rim. It takes a few pushes before finally Merlin is pushing in, slowly, all the way to the hilt. 

Eggsy thanks fuck the walls are soundproof. 

If anyone heard the shit that tumbled from his mouth when Merlins ‘s cock is inside him, he’ll never hear the end of it. 

“Move, Merlin-“ Eggsy growls, pushing himself back hard. Merlin waits for a second, if only to send the boy into further desperation. Then with a grunt he pulls back and snaps his hips forward again. The desk creaks beneath their weight. His thrusts are deliciously slow, profanities leaking from Eggsy’s mouth as he’s fucked. 

“Merlin?” The voice isn’t Eggsy’s. Merlins hips stop dead inside him. He’s fumbling for the controller, buried balls deep in Eggsy.  
“Yes? Gawain?” Merlins voice is rough with sex, he coughs to try and clear his throat, his heart beating wildly. He studies the screens quickly and sees that Gawain is cornered.

“Fuck, okay-“ he pulls up the map of the building. As he speaks, he seems to have forgotten about Eggsy on his cock. He directs the agent out of the immediate danger, his voice a low constant rumble, and it sends Eggsy’s cock twitching. He moans quietly and starts to fuck himself on Merlins cock again, rolling his hips back and moaning. He hears Merlins breath hitch and a hand comes down to slap over Eggsy’s mouth, muffling his cries. 

Merlin coughs loudly to stifle is own snarl, Gawain’s concerned voice coming over the intercom. “Merlin? Sir? You okay?” Gawain is still running, but is fastly approaching their safe exit. 

“Yeah, yeah, just got a bit of a-“ Merlins breath hitches, “-cold… Are you okay now? Do you still need me?” 

“No, thank you, see you back at HQ.” The intercom switches off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.s I think I failed my exam today haha anyway one more chapter to go lads! Then I'll have officially completed and posted my first ever fic!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued smut, the final instalment...

A sharp slap lands on Eggsy’s arse, causing him to yelp slightly and giggle. 

“Fucking hell, lad. You’ll be the death of me-“ Merlin grunts, thrusting harder, gripping both his hips with bruising force. 

“You dirty boy, did you want Gawain to know I had my dick in your tight hole?” Merlin asks quietly, accentuating his words with his hips until they’re pistoning against the smaller, whimpering man. He’s so close, despite no one even having touched his cock.

“Shit, Eggsy, I’m gonna- Do you want me to pull out-?” he breathes. Eggsy shakes his head desperately, pushing back harder, wanting the man even deeper inside him.

Merlin’s hips stutter to a stop and he feels him fill his arse, head of his cock resting against his prostate. Merlin strokes Eggsy’s cock 3 times, then he’s coming against the desk, hot hard spurts, and he sees stars. His head drops against the desk with a thump and his body shakes. 

Merlin doesn’t pull out for a moment, when he does, he pulls Eggsy into his lap and wraps his arms around him. He strokes a hand gently along Eggsy’s back, admiring the way his muscles twitch beneath the touch. He doesn’t care about the fact Eggsy is dripping come from his arse onto Merlin’s slacks where he sits. 

He peppers kisses along Eggsy’s jaw, along his neck, whispering sweet nothings to him. “My beautiful boy, you always do so wonderfully for me-“ he grins against his hair, hearing Eggsy swoon and smile, sighing contently. 

They stay like that, until Harry calls through to Merlin. Eggsy is half asleep, head resting against the Scots chest. 

Harry waits outside the door until Merlin has gently done Eggsy’s clothes back up, buttoning up his own slacks. He carries Eggsy to the couch and lays him down, covering him in the emergency blanket he keeps in his room. The boy makes a small noise of protest at the loss of contact but grips the blanket tightly.

Merlin quickly wipes down the desk, making a mental note to do a thorough clean later, he didn’t need his office smelling of sex.

He opens the door to Harry who steps in quietly. “Jesus, how did you manage to get the boy to stop moving?” he asks with a chuckle, glancing at the dosing Eggsy on the couch. “He was causing havoc in my office, wouldn’t stop moving-“ he shakes his head, smiling at Merlin who was smiling lovingly at Eggsy.

“Is he okay? Are you both okay?” Harry asks, quietly concerned. “It wasn’t like you… to…” he doesn’t say it, but gestures towards Eggsy’s face. 

“I don’t know how, but the boys forgiven me, and I’m so fucking grateful. I don’t know what I would have done otherwise. I don’t know what the fuck I was doing. I was a prick, I hurt him, then I let that filth hurt him too-“ Harry cuts him off with a hug. 

“You can’t blame yourself forever, you need to move on and learn from your mistakes. I know it won’t happen again, if it does, you’ll have Roxy to answer to, and no one wants that,” he mumbles, trying to add some humour. Merlin just sighs. 

“Go home, Merlin. We’ve got it from here. Take your boy home and both of you can get some rest,” he smiles and pats Merlin on the back. “I’ll check to make sure you’ve actually left in 15 minutes,” he laughs and turns, leaving. 

Merlin picks Eggsy up again, letting him keep the blanket when he whimpers, hushing him, “Shh, you’re alright, boyo. We’re going home.” Eggsy wriggles in his post-sex haze and nods, a pliant bundle of limbs, bones and muscle. 

Merlin smiles and gives him another soft kiss on the head.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I feel like I ended this shittly? Sorry if I'd disappointed anyone. But I wanna say again how thankful I am for the readers I've had, and support, it's my first fic so thank you! Tbh I didn't think anyone would bother reading it so.... It has encouraged me to write more... (such as my new fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/14822909/chapters/34302368 hehe) Thanks again!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a slut for criticism and comments so please leave me some, and thanks for reading ❤️


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